Money will buy me a house, but not a home, a bed, but not a good night's sleep.- Zig Ziglar
Is Money Everything? This was the title of my speech at a seminar in Central London organised by Find Your Voice. Many professional speakers from all walks of life attended and delivered messages that motivated and empowered people to take control of their lives. I was one of the four speakers and the theme was: “Money Makes the World Go Round.” I would like to share the views I expressed at the seminar with you.
One of the problems with literature about success is that most of the time the word ‘success’ is usually interpreted as material success or power. This usually includes the amount of money a person earns or has; the type of car they drive and the size and location of their house. However, we need to remind ourselves that true success isn’t just Hollywood’s definition of it!Success is a journey and not a destination.
The mistake most people make is aligning money with success. Money is only a medium of exchange and can never be measured side-by-side with success. I believe that success can be divided into eight categories; these are: spiritual, health, family, career & business, financial, self-development/intellectual, personal needs, and community.
It is therefore worth noting that true success is not just when you are financially rich, rather it is when you are rich in all of the eight categories.Money can buy you material possessions, but it cannot buy you happiness and peace of mind. Money is used in exchange for other things, but this paper money we spend (e.g. Pounds, Naira, Dollars, etc) is not the only money we should have.
There are hidden 'monies' in all of us; the only problem is discovering we have such 'monies' within us.Let us consider this; if one is only financially wealthy and lacks the intellect to make other riches, or is unsuccessful in their family life and health, then the person is as good as being poor. Let us not be overly carried away by this mere medium of exchange – money – and fail to consider other aspects of life.
I once knew a rich man, who, in spite of his wealth, is deficient in his health. He died despite the great financial wealth he had accumulated. Would you say such a man was wealthy? No. Why? Because he was only monetarily wealthy – this appeared to be at the expense of his health.
I was at the mansion of one of my mentors, Richie Dayo Johnson, in Netherne-On- the-Hill, Surrey and as we sat down in his study that Sunday evening I asked: “ DJ (as I fondly call him) tell me what money can and can not buy. He replied, “Dayo, money can buy you a house, but it can't buy you a home. Money can buy you insurance, but it can't buy you security. Money can buy you entertainment, but it can't buy you happiness. Money can buy you medicine, but it can't buy you good health. Money can buy you a bed, but it can't buy you sleep. Money can buy you companionship, but it can't buy you friendship. Money can buy you sex, but it can't buy you love. Money is called currency, because it is designed to flow through you. Money doesn't change you; it only reveals who you truly are.”I totally agree with Richie Dayo Johnson.
In addition to this, I believe that money can buy you many women but it cannot buy you a good wife. It can buy you a good book, but it cannot buy you wisdom and knowledge. It can sponsor you through school, but it cannot buy you intellect. However, the things money can buy are temporal but the things money cannot buy are, most times, everlasting. Who are you when you have money and who are you when you don’t have?
The bottom line is that money does not change you; it merely uncovers you. Why don’t you take time to reflect on those things money cannot buy; you may be surprised to realise that money is actually not everything?Is your spiritual life in order? Are you enjoying good health? Are you in control of your finances? Are you developing yourself intellectually? Are you giving back to the society?
If you answer YES to all these questions, then you can confidently say that you are prospering and therefore successful.
Now tell me, IS MONEY EVERYTHING? I rest my case.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
ACHIEVE MORE WITH LESS THROUGH PROPER PLANNING
One question a lot of people ask me recently is: “how do I manage my own personal time and get so much done in the same 24 hours everyone else have? They wonder how I have time for my family, being a Motivational Speaker, Business/Life Coach, Writer, Publisher, and Toastmaster.”
One day, I was in the gym with my very good friend, Joe De Souza, a highly skilled Speaker who has impacted me immensely, when he asked me the same question. He certainly got me thinking that I thought and deemed it appropriate to write about my personal time management.
According to time evangelists, time lost can never be regained. When it comes to time management, I believe in the 80/20 Rule which states that ‘20% of what we do leads to 80% of the result’. Therefore, most of my time is spent on high value activities; things that advance my overall purpose in life, things I have always wanted to do, things I am most passionate about and things that will yield positive and maximum result.
My time is built around my goals, values and purpose, which I established many years ago when I went on pilgrimage to Jerusalem to celebrate my 35th birthday. My goals are eight folds: Spiritual & Values; Career & Business; Relationship with my family and friends; Financial & Wealth; Health & Fitness; Personal Needs; Intellectual & Self-development; and Community & Social goals.My purpose in life is to inspire people to achieve greatness, make the world a better place by improving the standards of living for all, and providing better and high quality goods and services. Knowing my purpose in lifehelps me prioritise my time.
The desire to excel and reach my full potential propels me.Having decided on my goals, I then deal with the other tasks ahead of me in order of priority. The priority I place on any task is determined by how it measures up with my goals. The more a task helps in achieving my goals, the more important it is to me.I go to bed at midnight and wake up at about 7.00am. The first thing I do when I wake up is to use the first hour (which I call the ‘golden hour’) to prepare myself for the day. I prepare myself spiritually by praying; physically by exercising, and mentally by reading something that will stimulate me; thereafter I leave for the office.I speak professionally twice a week, train four times a week, and write at least two articles a week. The rest of my time is dedicated to my family and attending meetings.Every Saturday morning I walk about five miles in two hours; thereafter I return home to spend time with my family (provided I don’t have a speaking engagement).
The latter part of my Saturday evening is dedicated to researching on my speeches and articles.After church on Sunday, I watch Nigerian movies (which I called Naijawood) with my wife and children and later in the evening I plan for the week ahead.Prioritisation is critical to how I spend my personal time. I do the first thing first. I do not watch television except news and I am one of the rare birds who are not addicted to sports. Although I am an Arsenal fan, I have never sat down to watch them play for 90 minutes. I spend a great deal of time reading books (I read at least two books a month), magazines, articles, periodicals and trade journals that are of interest to me and from which I collect the information for my research files.
Whenever I am out, I ensure I take reading materials with me to fill my time during any waiting period. When I am travelling I spend flying times and airport waiting times revising and updating written materials on my pocket PC.The passion I have for what I do invariably determines how much work I accomplish. My speeches are based on topics requested or those suggested for specific purposes. Knowing the objective of the speech helps in researching the subject; thus I am able to combine new information with old ones to deliver the most suitable speech.
I make every attempt to respond to my correspondences within days of their arrival; however, it sometimes takes a little longer, especially when I am working on a project that needs my undivided attention. Whenever I have a board meeting I create time to prepare for it especially if I have a presentation to do. I attend at least one board meeting every week.
Before I retire to bed I reflect on the day and then carefully plan for the following day.It has been said that Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance; therefore it is crucial to plan your activities thoroughly.
Remember, those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
One day, I was in the gym with my very good friend, Joe De Souza, a highly skilled Speaker who has impacted me immensely, when he asked me the same question. He certainly got me thinking that I thought and deemed it appropriate to write about my personal time management.
According to time evangelists, time lost can never be regained. When it comes to time management, I believe in the 80/20 Rule which states that ‘20% of what we do leads to 80% of the result’. Therefore, most of my time is spent on high value activities; things that advance my overall purpose in life, things I have always wanted to do, things I am most passionate about and things that will yield positive and maximum result.
My time is built around my goals, values and purpose, which I established many years ago when I went on pilgrimage to Jerusalem to celebrate my 35th birthday. My goals are eight folds: Spiritual & Values; Career & Business; Relationship with my family and friends; Financial & Wealth; Health & Fitness; Personal Needs; Intellectual & Self-development; and Community & Social goals.My purpose in life is to inspire people to achieve greatness, make the world a better place by improving the standards of living for all, and providing better and high quality goods and services. Knowing my purpose in lifehelps me prioritise my time.
The desire to excel and reach my full potential propels me.Having decided on my goals, I then deal with the other tasks ahead of me in order of priority. The priority I place on any task is determined by how it measures up with my goals. The more a task helps in achieving my goals, the more important it is to me.I go to bed at midnight and wake up at about 7.00am. The first thing I do when I wake up is to use the first hour (which I call the ‘golden hour’) to prepare myself for the day. I prepare myself spiritually by praying; physically by exercising, and mentally by reading something that will stimulate me; thereafter I leave for the office.I speak professionally twice a week, train four times a week, and write at least two articles a week. The rest of my time is dedicated to my family and attending meetings.Every Saturday morning I walk about five miles in two hours; thereafter I return home to spend time with my family (provided I don’t have a speaking engagement).
The latter part of my Saturday evening is dedicated to researching on my speeches and articles.After church on Sunday, I watch Nigerian movies (which I called Naijawood) with my wife and children and later in the evening I plan for the week ahead.Prioritisation is critical to how I spend my personal time. I do the first thing first. I do not watch television except news and I am one of the rare birds who are not addicted to sports. Although I am an Arsenal fan, I have never sat down to watch them play for 90 minutes. I spend a great deal of time reading books (I read at least two books a month), magazines, articles, periodicals and trade journals that are of interest to me and from which I collect the information for my research files.
Whenever I am out, I ensure I take reading materials with me to fill my time during any waiting period. When I am travelling I spend flying times and airport waiting times revising and updating written materials on my pocket PC.The passion I have for what I do invariably determines how much work I accomplish. My speeches are based on topics requested or those suggested for specific purposes. Knowing the objective of the speech helps in researching the subject; thus I am able to combine new information with old ones to deliver the most suitable speech.
I make every attempt to respond to my correspondences within days of their arrival; however, it sometimes takes a little longer, especially when I am working on a project that needs my undivided attention. Whenever I have a board meeting I create time to prepare for it especially if I have a presentation to do. I attend at least one board meeting every week.
Before I retire to bed I reflect on the day and then carefully plan for the following day.It has been said that Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance; therefore it is crucial to plan your activities thoroughly.
Remember, those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
Friday, February 1, 2008
IMPORTANCE OF BACKGROUND IN A RELATIONSHIP
Should coming from the same background be a major issue in a relationship? In the 90s, one of the major things we sometimes overlook in a relationship is our partner’s background. To us, ‘what’s love got to do with background’?
But the truth is that coming from the same background can enhance a relationship. Our background develops our values and ideas about love, life and relationship.A major conclusion reached is that having similar backgrounds in a relationship makes communication easier. Seeing things from the same perspective makes it easier to communicate and reason with your partner, without seeing that person as somebody from another planet.
And naturally you are likely to be compatible.Certain factors in your background help with compatibility. If you come from similar race, religion, social class, education and are around the same age, you are more likely to be compatible and enjoy a long-lasting relationship..What beliefs does this person hold dear? Relationships last longer when both partners share basic beliefs in such matters as sex, parenting, friends, religion, leisure time and division of household labour.
If love were real estate, we would all be speculators. Even attractive, peaceful parcels can hide fault lines and toxic waste. Still, there are ways to recognise a good deal when you see it and to make the most of your investment once you are committed. Most times when people go into a relationship where they see things from different angles as a result of background; they know deep inside that it just won’t work but they still put their hopes in the hands of destiny who is a cruel master.
By the time the ‘being in love’ feeling subsides and reality sets in, the relationship crashes sooner than expected.Imagine a thirty-year-old guy whose father is a rich businessman and mother a housewife. In his environment, his father is like a god. What he says is law. His wife dares not question his authority or else she may be beaten up, but he loves his wife. He drinks, he smokes and womanises.
No matter how much love the man has for any woman, he’ll probably take after his father. Have you ever seen a man whose behavioural pattern differs from his father’s or a woman who doesn’t have anything in common with her mother? It is like looking for a virgin in a maternity ward.Our attitude to love is most times formed by the way we see our parents talk and practise love.In matters of relationships, background is something that should not be overlooked, although it is not a 100% guarantee for a successful relationship.
An unhappy childhood for instance can make you have different expectations from a partner who had a happy experience, even if you appear to come from identical backgrounds.Background should be a major factor that should be thoroughly looked into, reconciled and balanced before making a lifetime commitment. It is very important that love is built on this sound footing or else instead of enjoying in love, you will either be struggling or suffering in love as many couples are currently doing.
If you’re already in a troubled relationship, take an objective look into your partner’s background and yours whether they tally.You will possibly find that the reasons for your troubled relationship may be linked to issues in your partner’s background. Remember nobody can change anybody from what he inherited unless he wants to change.
Can anybody change you except you wish to change? When you are faced with a situation you can’t change, you either change yourself, change the situation, stay in it, or break away from it.The values you brought from your childhood are the ones you pass on to your children and they in turn will pass them to their children. How can you pass on good values to your kids in these difficult times?
But the truth is that coming from the same background can enhance a relationship. Our background develops our values and ideas about love, life and relationship.A major conclusion reached is that having similar backgrounds in a relationship makes communication easier. Seeing things from the same perspective makes it easier to communicate and reason with your partner, without seeing that person as somebody from another planet.
And naturally you are likely to be compatible.Certain factors in your background help with compatibility. If you come from similar race, religion, social class, education and are around the same age, you are more likely to be compatible and enjoy a long-lasting relationship..What beliefs does this person hold dear? Relationships last longer when both partners share basic beliefs in such matters as sex, parenting, friends, religion, leisure time and division of household labour.
If love were real estate, we would all be speculators. Even attractive, peaceful parcels can hide fault lines and toxic waste. Still, there are ways to recognise a good deal when you see it and to make the most of your investment once you are committed. Most times when people go into a relationship where they see things from different angles as a result of background; they know deep inside that it just won’t work but they still put their hopes in the hands of destiny who is a cruel master.
By the time the ‘being in love’ feeling subsides and reality sets in, the relationship crashes sooner than expected.Imagine a thirty-year-old guy whose father is a rich businessman and mother a housewife. In his environment, his father is like a god. What he says is law. His wife dares not question his authority or else she may be beaten up, but he loves his wife. He drinks, he smokes and womanises.
No matter how much love the man has for any woman, he’ll probably take after his father. Have you ever seen a man whose behavioural pattern differs from his father’s or a woman who doesn’t have anything in common with her mother? It is like looking for a virgin in a maternity ward.Our attitude to love is most times formed by the way we see our parents talk and practise love.In matters of relationships, background is something that should not be overlooked, although it is not a 100% guarantee for a successful relationship.
An unhappy childhood for instance can make you have different expectations from a partner who had a happy experience, even if you appear to come from identical backgrounds.Background should be a major factor that should be thoroughly looked into, reconciled and balanced before making a lifetime commitment. It is very important that love is built on this sound footing or else instead of enjoying in love, you will either be struggling or suffering in love as many couples are currently doing.
If you’re already in a troubled relationship, take an objective look into your partner’s background and yours whether they tally.You will possibly find that the reasons for your troubled relationship may be linked to issues in your partner’s background. Remember nobody can change anybody from what he inherited unless he wants to change.
Can anybody change you except you wish to change? When you are faced with a situation you can’t change, you either change yourself, change the situation, stay in it, or break away from it.The values you brought from your childhood are the ones you pass on to your children and they in turn will pass them to their children. How can you pass on good values to your kids in these difficult times?
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Making the Impossible Possible
I learned I was not, as most Africans believed, the victim of my circumstances but the master of them."--Legson Kayira
One of the things my Christian faith has taught me is that with God nothing is impossible. I live by four Ps-Prayers, Planning, Perseverance and Persistence. Hence one of the words that are not in my dictionary is "impossible". I seldom use it. Ditto words like providence, destiny and fate. Anything I want to do, I do it irrespective of all the obstacles by using the 4Ps.To me, nothing is impossible if you have a clear goal and vision.
According to the legendary boxer, Muhammad Ali, "Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision."Anytime I remember the story of the award-winning Malawian writer, Legson Kayira, I am inspired. The facts of Kayira's early life are legendary: a Tumbuka born and educated in Nyasaland (now Malawi), he walked 3,200 kilometres to North Africa seeking opportunities for further education.
Like Martin Luther King Jnr., Legson had a dream. He wanted to be like his hero, Abraham Lincoln, the 16th American president, who had risen from poverty to become president, then fought tirelessly to help end slavery. He wanted to be like Booker T. Washington, the foremost black educator of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, who cast off the shackles of slavery to become a great American reformer and educator, giving hope and dignity to himself and to his race.
Legson's dream spurred him on a journey fuelled by his determination to get an educationLike these great role models, he wanted to serve mankind, to make a difference in the world. To realise his goal, he needed a first-rate education. Legson knew the best place to get it was in America.When he was 17 years old, he sought his parents' blessing to go and study in America. His illiterate parents didn't know where America was but reluctantly gave their blessing.His possessions were meagre: five-day supply of food, a Bible and Pilgrim's Progress, small axe for protection, and a blanket. Legson eagerly set out on the journey of his life. He was going to walk from his tribal village in Nyasaland, north across the wilderness of East Africa to Cairo, where he would board a ship to America to get a college education.After five days of trekking across the rugged African terrain, Legson had covered only 25 miles. He was already out of food, his water was running out, and he had no money. To travel 2,975 more miles seemed impossible. Yet to turn back was to give up, to resign to a life of poverty and ignorance.
Legson turned to his two books, reading the familiar words that renewed his faith in himself and in his goal. He ploughed on.By January 1960, fifteen months after he began his perilous journey, he had travelled nearly a thousand miles to Kampala, the capital of Uganda. He was now growing stronger in body and wiser in the ways of survival. He remained in Kampala for six months, working at odd jobs and spending every spare moment in the library, reading voraciously.In the library at Kampala, he came across an illustrated directory of American colleges.
One illustration in particular caught his eye, the Skagit Valley College in Mount Vernon, Washington. He wrote immediately to the school's dean explaining his plight and asking for a scholarship. The dean at Skagit was so impressed with Legson's determination that he not only granted him admission but also offered him a scholarship and a job that would pay his room and board.Another piece of Legson's dream had fallen into place, yet more obstacles awaited him. Legson needed a passport and a visa, but to get a passport, he had to provide the government with a verified birth date. That's not all.
To get a visa he needed the round-trip fare to the United States. Again, he picked up pen and paper and wrote to the missionaries who had taught him since childhood. They helped to push the passport through government channels. However, Legson still lacked the airfare required for a visa.Undeterred, Legson continued his journey to Cairo believing he would somehow get the money he needed.
Fortune smiled on him when upon hearing his story, the students of Skagit Valley College, with the help of local citizens, sent $650 to cover Legson's fare to America.In December 1960, more than two years after his journey began, Legson Kayira arrived at Skagit Valley College. Carrying his two treasured books, he proudly passed through the towering entrance of the institution and began his studies.But Legson Kayira didn't stop once he graduated.
Continuing his academic journey, he became a professor of political science at Cambridge University in England and a widely respected author. His first book was the autobiographical I Will Try (1965), and he has written four novels: The Looming Shadow (1968), Jingala (1969), The Civil Servant (1971), and The Detainee (1974).
Like his heroes, Abraham Lincoln and Booker T. Washington, Legson Kayira rose above his humble beginnings and forged his own destiny. He made a difference in the world and became a magnificent beacon whose light remains as a guide for others to follow.Legson's story shows that with faith, determination, a dream and a vision, we can achieve anything in life and rise to the top.
(c) Dayo Olomu Novermber 2003
One of the things my Christian faith has taught me is that with God nothing is impossible. I live by four Ps-Prayers, Planning, Perseverance and Persistence. Hence one of the words that are not in my dictionary is "impossible". I seldom use it. Ditto words like providence, destiny and fate. Anything I want to do, I do it irrespective of all the obstacles by using the 4Ps.To me, nothing is impossible if you have a clear goal and vision.
According to the legendary boxer, Muhammad Ali, "Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision."Anytime I remember the story of the award-winning Malawian writer, Legson Kayira, I am inspired. The facts of Kayira's early life are legendary: a Tumbuka born and educated in Nyasaland (now Malawi), he walked 3,200 kilometres to North Africa seeking opportunities for further education.
Like Martin Luther King Jnr., Legson had a dream. He wanted to be like his hero, Abraham Lincoln, the 16th American president, who had risen from poverty to become president, then fought tirelessly to help end slavery. He wanted to be like Booker T. Washington, the foremost black educator of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, who cast off the shackles of slavery to become a great American reformer and educator, giving hope and dignity to himself and to his race.
Legson's dream spurred him on a journey fuelled by his determination to get an educationLike these great role models, he wanted to serve mankind, to make a difference in the world. To realise his goal, he needed a first-rate education. Legson knew the best place to get it was in America.When he was 17 years old, he sought his parents' blessing to go and study in America. His illiterate parents didn't know where America was but reluctantly gave their blessing.His possessions were meagre: five-day supply of food, a Bible and Pilgrim's Progress, small axe for protection, and a blanket. Legson eagerly set out on the journey of his life. He was going to walk from his tribal village in Nyasaland, north across the wilderness of East Africa to Cairo, where he would board a ship to America to get a college education.After five days of trekking across the rugged African terrain, Legson had covered only 25 miles. He was already out of food, his water was running out, and he had no money. To travel 2,975 more miles seemed impossible. Yet to turn back was to give up, to resign to a life of poverty and ignorance.
Legson turned to his two books, reading the familiar words that renewed his faith in himself and in his goal. He ploughed on.By January 1960, fifteen months after he began his perilous journey, he had travelled nearly a thousand miles to Kampala, the capital of Uganda. He was now growing stronger in body and wiser in the ways of survival. He remained in Kampala for six months, working at odd jobs and spending every spare moment in the library, reading voraciously.In the library at Kampala, he came across an illustrated directory of American colleges.
One illustration in particular caught his eye, the Skagit Valley College in Mount Vernon, Washington. He wrote immediately to the school's dean explaining his plight and asking for a scholarship. The dean at Skagit was so impressed with Legson's determination that he not only granted him admission but also offered him a scholarship and a job that would pay his room and board.Another piece of Legson's dream had fallen into place, yet more obstacles awaited him. Legson needed a passport and a visa, but to get a passport, he had to provide the government with a verified birth date. That's not all.
To get a visa he needed the round-trip fare to the United States. Again, he picked up pen and paper and wrote to the missionaries who had taught him since childhood. They helped to push the passport through government channels. However, Legson still lacked the airfare required for a visa.Undeterred, Legson continued his journey to Cairo believing he would somehow get the money he needed.
Fortune smiled on him when upon hearing his story, the students of Skagit Valley College, with the help of local citizens, sent $650 to cover Legson's fare to America.In December 1960, more than two years after his journey began, Legson Kayira arrived at Skagit Valley College. Carrying his two treasured books, he proudly passed through the towering entrance of the institution and began his studies.But Legson Kayira didn't stop once he graduated.
Continuing his academic journey, he became a professor of political science at Cambridge University in England and a widely respected author. His first book was the autobiographical I Will Try (1965), and he has written four novels: The Looming Shadow (1968), Jingala (1969), The Civil Servant (1971), and The Detainee (1974).
Like his heroes, Abraham Lincoln and Booker T. Washington, Legson Kayira rose above his humble beginnings and forged his own destiny. He made a difference in the world and became a magnificent beacon whose light remains as a guide for others to follow.Legson's story shows that with faith, determination, a dream and a vision, we can achieve anything in life and rise to the top.
(c) Dayo Olomu Novermber 2003
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