Showing posts with label Denis Waitley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Denis Waitley. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Look Up to Those Beneath You
Monday, April 12, 2010
Three Rules for Turning Stress into Success by Denis Waitley
1. Accept the Unchangeable—Everything that has happened in your life to this minute is unchangeable. It’s history. The greatest waste of energy is in looking back at missed opportunities, lamenting past events, grudge collecting, getting even, harboring ill will, and any vengeful thinking. Success is the only acceptable form of revenge. By forgiving your trespassers, you become free to concentrate on going forward with your life and succeeding in spite of your detractors. You will live a rewarding and fulfilling life.
Your enemies, on the other hand, will forever wonder how you went on to become so successful without them and in the shadow of their doubts.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Power from Empowerment
A good way to think of leadership is the process of freeing your team members to do the best work they possibly can. I have followed NBA basketball coach Phil Jackson’s career for some time.
In his career, Jackson has gone from coaching the record-setting champion Chicago Bulls to the present NBA champion Los Angeles Lakers. He says his principal task is creating an environment in which his players can flourish. In communicating with his championship teams, Jackson convinced them that they had the talent to win championships and that the main goal of the coach was freeing them to use that talent.
Today’s business team members say they want, more than anything else, the autonomy to do their jobs without the boss’s interference. Nearly a decade into the new century, it’s already clear that the CEOs of our best-run companies believe that the more power leaders have, the less they should use.
The job of the team leader is to set a mission, decide upon a strategic direction, achieve the necessary cooperation, delegate authority and then let people innovate. To do that we all could take a hint from the late football coach Paul “Bear” Bryant. Before his retirement as one of the leading coaches in college football history at Alabama, Bryant observed:
I’m just a plowhand from Arkansas, but I’ve learned how to put and hold a team together. I’ve learned how to lift some individuals up and how to calm others down, until finally they’ve got one heartbeat, together, as a team. To do that, there are just three things I’d ever have to say: If anything went wrong, I did it. If it went semi-good, then we did it. If anything went real good, then you did it! That’s really all it takes to get other people to win for you.
The key to authentic leadership is to listen to your followers, and then open the door for them to lead themselves. The secret is empowerment. The main incentive is genuine caring and recognition.
The five most important words a leader can speak are: “I am proud of you.”
The four most important are: “What is your opinion?”
The three most important are: “If you please.”
The two most important are: “Thank you.”
And the most important single word of all is: “You!”
The four most important are: “What is your opinion?”
The three most important are: “If you please.”
The two most important are: “Thank you.”
And the most important single word of all is: “You!”
Monday, July 13, 2009
Carpe Diem! Seize this Day!
What each of us is doing this minute is the most important event in history for us. We have decided to invest our resources in this opportunity rather than in any other. It is helpful to remember this when we consider the passage of time.
As the years pass, I am acutely aware that the bird of time is on the wing. At my fiftieth high school reunion, I saw old people who claimed to be my former classmates. We all had big name tags printed in capital letters so we wouldn't have to squint with our reading glasses on trying to associate the name with each well-traveled face. It was only yesterday that I was really enjoying high school. What had happened to the five decades in between? Where had they flown?
To the side of the bandstand, where the big-band sound of the late 1940s and 50s blared our favorite top-ten hits, there was a poster with a printed verse for all of us to see. I read the words out loud:
"There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
“One of these days is Yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
“The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds; but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn. This leaves only one day: Today.
“Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities - Yesterday and Tomorrow - that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, live this one full Today."
Malcolm Forbes believed the important thing is never to say die until you're dead, and he lived that example to the hilt. It is, as we realize when we suddenly attend our fiftieth high school reunion, a short journey. But it also is difficult to be depressed and active at the same time. So get active! And make today your best day ever!
As the years pass, I am acutely aware that the bird of time is on the wing. At my fiftieth high school reunion, I saw old people who claimed to be my former classmates. We all had big name tags printed in capital letters so we wouldn't have to squint with our reading glasses on trying to associate the name with each well-traveled face. It was only yesterday that I was really enjoying high school. What had happened to the five decades in between? Where had they flown?
To the side of the bandstand, where the big-band sound of the late 1940s and 50s blared our favorite top-ten hits, there was a poster with a printed verse for all of us to see. I read the words out loud:
"There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
“One of these days is Yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.
“The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds; but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn. This leaves only one day: Today.
“Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities - Yesterday and Tomorrow - that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, live this one full Today."
Malcolm Forbes believed the important thing is never to say die until you're dead, and he lived that example to the hilt. It is, as we realize when we suddenly attend our fiftieth high school reunion, a short journey. But it also is difficult to be depressed and active at the same time. So get active! And make today your best day ever!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Be a Person Who Practices Non-Situational Integrity
Integrity, a standard of personal morality and ethics, is not relative to the situation you happen to find yourself in and doesn't sell out to expediency. Its short supply is getting even shorter, but without it, leadership is a façade. Learning to see through exteriors is a critical development in the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Sadly, most people continue to be taken in by big talk and media popularity, flashy or bizarre looks, and expensive possessions.
They move through most of their years convinced that the externals are what count, and are thus doomed to live shallow lives. Men and women who rely on their looks or status to feel good about themselves inevitably do everything they can to enhance the impression they make – and do correspondingly little to develop their inner value and personal growth. The paradox is that the people who try hardest to impress are often the least impressive. Puffing to appear powerful is an attempt to hide insecurity.
In the Roman Empires' final corrupt years, status was conveyed by the number of carved statues of the gods displayed in people's courtyards. As in every business, the Roman statue industry had good and bad sculptors and merchants. As the empire became ever more greedy and narcissistic, the bad got away with as much as they could. Sculptors became adept at using wax to hide cracks and chips in marble and most people couldn't discern the difference in quality.
Statues began to weep or melt under the scrutiny of sunlight or heat in foyers.
For statues of authentic fine quality, carved by reputable artists, people had to go to the artisan marketplace in the Roman Quad and look for booths with signs declaring sine cera, which translates in English to mean, without wax. We, too, look for the real thing in friends, products, and services. In people, we value sincerity, from the words, sine cera, more than almost any other virtue. We expect it from our leaders, which we are not getting in our political, media, business and sports' heroes for the most part. We must demand it of ourselves.
Integrity that strengthens an inner value system is the real human bottom line. Commitment to a life of integrity in every situation demonstrates that your word is more valuable than a surety bond. It means you don't base your decisions on being politically correct. You do what's right, not fashionable. You know that truth is absolute, not a device for manipulating others. And you win in the long run, when the stakes are highest. If I were writing a single commandment for leadership it would be, "You shall conduct yourself in such a manner as to set an example worthy of imitation by your children and subordinates."
In simpler terms, if they shouldn't be doing it, neither should you. I told my kids, "clean up your room," and they inspected the condition of my garage. I told them that honesty was our family's greatest virtue, and they commented on the radar detector I had installed in my car. When I told them about the vices of drinking and wild parties, they watched from the upstairs balcony, the way our guests behaved at our adult functions.
It's too bad some of our political and business leaders don't understand that "What you are speaks so loudly that no one really pays attention to what you say." But it is even more true that if what you are matches what you say, your life will speak forcefully indeed.
It's hardly a secret that learning ethical standards begins at home. A child's first inklings of a sense of right and wrong come from almost imperceptible signals received long before he or she reaches the age of rational thought about morality. Maybe you're asking yourself what kind of model you are for future generations, remembering that people are either honest or dishonest, that integrity is all or nothing, and that children can't be fooled in such basic matters. They learn by example.
To remind myself of my responsibility to live without wax, with sincerity and integrity, I took the liberty of re-writing Edgar A. Guest's poem, "Sermons We See" to apply to setting an example as a real winner for my children and grandchildren.
I'd rather watch a winner, than hear one any day. I'd rather have one walk with me, than merely show the way. The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear. Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear. And the best of all the coaches are the ones who live their deeds. For to see the truth in action is what everybody needs.
I can soon learn how to do it, if you'll let me see it done. I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run. And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true. But, I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do. For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give. But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live. I'd rather watch a winner, than hear one any day.
Hey, politician, business leader, motion picture producer, television actor, rock star, sports star. Hey mom, hey dad. Don't tell me how to live. Show me by your actions. You're my role models.
Action Idea: When you talk to others, beginning right now, don't try to impress them by talking about your accomplishments. Let your actions speak for you. Ask more questions.
They move through most of their years convinced that the externals are what count, and are thus doomed to live shallow lives. Men and women who rely on their looks or status to feel good about themselves inevitably do everything they can to enhance the impression they make – and do correspondingly little to develop their inner value and personal growth. The paradox is that the people who try hardest to impress are often the least impressive. Puffing to appear powerful is an attempt to hide insecurity.
In the Roman Empires' final corrupt years, status was conveyed by the number of carved statues of the gods displayed in people's courtyards. As in every business, the Roman statue industry had good and bad sculptors and merchants. As the empire became ever more greedy and narcissistic, the bad got away with as much as they could. Sculptors became adept at using wax to hide cracks and chips in marble and most people couldn't discern the difference in quality.
Statues began to weep or melt under the scrutiny of sunlight or heat in foyers.
For statues of authentic fine quality, carved by reputable artists, people had to go to the artisan marketplace in the Roman Quad and look for booths with signs declaring sine cera, which translates in English to mean, without wax. We, too, look for the real thing in friends, products, and services. In people, we value sincerity, from the words, sine cera, more than almost any other virtue. We expect it from our leaders, which we are not getting in our political, media, business and sports' heroes for the most part. We must demand it of ourselves.
Integrity that strengthens an inner value system is the real human bottom line. Commitment to a life of integrity in every situation demonstrates that your word is more valuable than a surety bond. It means you don't base your decisions on being politically correct. You do what's right, not fashionable. You know that truth is absolute, not a device for manipulating others. And you win in the long run, when the stakes are highest. If I were writing a single commandment for leadership it would be, "You shall conduct yourself in such a manner as to set an example worthy of imitation by your children and subordinates."
In simpler terms, if they shouldn't be doing it, neither should you. I told my kids, "clean up your room," and they inspected the condition of my garage. I told them that honesty was our family's greatest virtue, and they commented on the radar detector I had installed in my car. When I told them about the vices of drinking and wild parties, they watched from the upstairs balcony, the way our guests behaved at our adult functions.
It's too bad some of our political and business leaders don't understand that "What you are speaks so loudly that no one really pays attention to what you say." But it is even more true that if what you are matches what you say, your life will speak forcefully indeed.
It's hardly a secret that learning ethical standards begins at home. A child's first inklings of a sense of right and wrong come from almost imperceptible signals received long before he or she reaches the age of rational thought about morality. Maybe you're asking yourself what kind of model you are for future generations, remembering that people are either honest or dishonest, that integrity is all or nothing, and that children can't be fooled in such basic matters. They learn by example.
To remind myself of my responsibility to live without wax, with sincerity and integrity, I took the liberty of re-writing Edgar A. Guest's poem, "Sermons We See" to apply to setting an example as a real winner for my children and grandchildren.
I'd rather watch a winner, than hear one any day. I'd rather have one walk with me, than merely show the way. The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear. Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear. And the best of all the coaches are the ones who live their deeds. For to see the truth in action is what everybody needs.
I can soon learn how to do it, if you'll let me see it done. I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too fast may run. And the lectures you deliver may be very wise and true. But, I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do. For I may misunderstand you and the high advice you give. But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how you live. I'd rather watch a winner, than hear one any day.
Hey, politician, business leader, motion picture producer, television actor, rock star, sports star. Hey mom, hey dad. Don't tell me how to live. Show me by your actions. You're my role models.
Action Idea: When you talk to others, beginning right now, don't try to impress them by talking about your accomplishments. Let your actions speak for you. Ask more questions.
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